How often do you find yourself saying you can’t do something?
• “I can’t quit my job and get a different one.”
• “I can’t exercise in the morning.”
• “I can’t quit smoking.”
• “I can’t lose weight.”
• “I can’t improve my marriage.”
• “I can’t help it that I have anxiety.”
• “I can’t get over it or forget it.”
• “I can’t change how I feel about him/her.”
• “I can’t change who I am.”
• “I can’t make more money.”
Are you differentiating correctly between between
“I can’t” and “I won’t.”??????
Can’t implies that you lack the ability to do something.
Won’t implies that you’ve made a choice not to do it.
Words are so powerful and they really make a difference in how we feel which affects the choices we make and the actions we take.
What words are you using??
What thoughts are you thinking??
How are they affecting your feelings??
How are those feelings affecting your actions??
It all starts with those words in your head.
Are you even aware of them?
For Example
You tell me that you can’t get on the elevator because you have a phobia about elevators.
It’s not like there’s a big force field in front of you blocking you and making it impossible for you to get on the elevator.
You can walk to the elevator, press the button to open the door and you can walk through a door to get on the elevator. You can do it. It is possible.
The truth is that because of your thoughts and feelings, you don’t want to and it would be more accurate to say “I won’t do it.”
Saying, “I can’t do it” is an excuse that lets you off the hook.
We often use the words “I can’t” as an excuse when what we really mean is “I won’t.”
Now that we’ve established that this is a choice, we can work on it, instead of seeing it as an ability problem.
Take a look at what you have said that you can’t do and evaluate it –
Is it true that you CAN’T do it,
or is it that you WON’T do it??
If you can’t, then no one will ever be able to help you.
If you won’t, then that is a choice, and that can be addressed.
Can you think of some areas in your life where you’re saying or maybe just thinking” “I can’t” but it would benefit you to realize that’s just an excuse and you really can?
I know I can….
Successful people who accomplish things and move forward towards what they want use “I can’t” as a SIGNAL that they need to IMPROVE A SKILL, and not as an EXCUSE that lets them off the hook.
Could you change “I can’t” to
“I’m going to figure it out”??
• “I can’t make this situation work, so I must figure out how to change it.”
• “I can’t understand why my co-worker always seems so upset, so I’m going to figure it out.”
• “I can’t continue to go down this path so I’m going to figure out what I can start to do different.”
• “I can’t let this habit take over my life so I’m going to figure out how to change it.”
