We do things because we want to FEEL GOOD
• Go on a vacation
• Buy Stuff
• Get in or out of a relationship
• Quit or get a new job
• Remodel our house
The ultimate goal is to FEEL GOOD
Another way to help us FEEL GOOD is to change our ratio of POSITIVE TO NEGATIVE thoughts.
Let’s face it-most of us don’t even realize how many NEGATIVE thoughts we have in a day and how many needless UPSETS and FRUSTRATIONS they cause us in our life.
We are so much more skilled in scanning our environments for threats, fears and reasons to be upset than we are in scanning our environment for reasons to be thankful and full of joy.
We are so good at scanning and comparing our lives to others and then noticing what we’re missing and what we don’t have versus being thankful for all that we do have.
We all yearn for happiness, for positive emotions, yet we view the world through primarily negative lenses.
Negative thoughts have the power to spiral your brain out of control and cause harm like–
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Stress
- Overwhelm
Negative thoughts cause:
- Irritability
- Anger
- Unhappy marriages
- Being short with your kids
It’s not totally your fault because our brains are wired to efficiently FIND THE NEGATIVES.
In the cave man days our brain needed to constantly be on the alert to threats to ensure survival.
The GOOD NEWS is:
You can consciously CHOOSE and PRACTICE being more POSITIVE which will change the physical structure of your brain to produce chemicals and hormones that will help you FEEL GOOD.
Here are Three SIMPLE EXERCISES you can practice to overcome negativity:
EXERCISE ONE:
Spend one minute three times a day looking for positive things. Do this every day for 45 days straight.
It doesn’t have to be something big; just simple things:
• a positive feeling;
• a child’s smile,
• a flowering tree,
• a random act of kindness by a stranger.
It’s easy for all of us to find the positives and good when things are going well but the real skill is when you can find the positives when things aren’t going well.
This easy and small exercise will train help train your mind to do just that. It’s just like strengthening a muscle; each repetition you do will increase your skill.
By the end of those 45 days, you’ll start finding positive things with a lot less effort than before.
Before you know it, finding the positives will just come natural-even in difficult and challenging situations.
EXERCISE TWO:
Stay Realistic; Manage your Expectations
People don’t always act, talk, and behave in the way you expect. Situations don’t always go the way you expect.
It’s easy to feel NEGATIVE when things don’t go your way; you end up feeling:
• Disappointed
• Sad
• Angry
• Resentful
which causes cortisol (stress hormone) to surge and it can make you feel awful.
Do you often find yourself upset and
dissatisfied with people in your life?
It could be that you could benefit from
becoming aware of and reducing your expectations.
EXERCISE THREE:
Break down your goals:
It’s easy to drown in negative thoughts when you focus on the big picture or the end goal.
Sometimes, the enormity of the goal ahead can seem so overwhelming to your brain and the uncertainty of you being able to accomplish it can bring about a lot of negative feelings and stress.
Maybe it’s the goal of:
Improving your marriage
Overcoming anxiety.
Losing weight
Making more money
Being a better parent
Getting out of debt
Even though you can’t control the end result, you can always control the NEXT STEP you choose to take towards your goal.
When you choose the NEXT ONE SMALL STEP and then take action on it, it gives you a positive feeling of accomplishment.
Break down your goal into smaller, actionable steps.
Focus solely on each small step as you go along.
This will help keep the negativity in your brain in check, and increase your positivity and motivation in completing the next step.
Conclusion
We don’t want to completely escape negativity because we need it for our benefit sometimes, but we can certainly reduce its bad effects on our life by training our brain to control it. The tips given above will help you do just that!
If you’d like to find out how personal life coaching can help you, Contact Fay for a FREE, NO OBLIGATION 30 minute consultation.
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Fay Prairie is a personal life coach and speaker specializing in relationships and POSITIVE, empowering mindsets.
She helps set you free from stress, anxiety, worry, negativity, and depression, so you can be a Better You, have Better Relationships and live a Better Life!
Contact Fay to set up a FREE 30 minute call to
discover how Personal Life Coaching can help you to begin making positive changes in your life!
E-mail: fay@fayprairie.com
Call: 507-829-0181
Fay also provides workshops and trainings for businesses and schools. Check out her speaking page by Clicking Here
