You’ve heard of cows chewing their cud. This is known as ruminating or regurgitating partially digested food and chewing it again. We often do this with our thoughts.

We have the habit of turning things over in our mind again and again. We often replay the same thoughts over and over until it is nearly impossible to stop. We can cause a lot of damage to our self esteem by chewing on “mental cud”. We end up believing the thoughts that we continually repeat to ourselves even if they aren’t true. They get in our head and take up permanent residence.

Someone can bully us one time and then we bully ourselves 100 times. A bully tells you you’re fat and ugly. Now every time you look in the mirror you think about how fat and ugly you are.

It’s form of self-torture and it causes a great deal of suffering. It leads to feelings of powerlessness, worthlessness, and depression. This makes it hard to feel competent and happy.
Often people who bully themselves have some idealistic idea of the way they should be and when they compare their current situation with this “unachieved, idealistic standard” they become even more of a bully to themselves.

Self-bullying increases ones sensitivities to others comments, taking them too seriously or to an extreme that wasn’t intended. Each time you bully yourself, you are doing real psychological harm. You are stealing self-esteem and happiness from yourself.