Exclusion, or purposely leaving someone out, is a type of bullying. We all have a strong need to feel accepted and to be part of the social group. It can make us feel like a loser when we are ignored.

If there is a physical acting out, adults are quick to intervene but when bullying takes on a less obvious form, such as exclusion, it’s sometimes hard to know what to do. So, it often goes unaddressed as being a normal part of being a kid. Yet, playing the popularity game and purposely making others feel that they are not good enough to be included is bullying!

Sadly, really good kids who know better go along with this type of bullying because it’s easier to do nothing than to be cast out of the group. But when kids go along with this, they give quiet acceptance and more power to the bully.

Gina and Alex had been friends for years, till one day when Miranda started befriending Gina and deliberately coaxed her to exclude Alex. They began to cyberbully Alex by blocking her from their online friends list and starting online groups which Alex was not invited to be a part of. Eventually they recruited other girls to join in the cyberbullying and embarrass and humiliate Alex online.

No one stood up for Alex and even the girls who felt bad for her were too afraid of losing their own social status or having Miranda turn on them–so they remained quiet. Their silence made Alex feel utterly and completely alone. She spent the majority of her days with no friends and as the school year progressed, the psychological bullying led her into deep depression.

Some girls would say they would never hit anyone or be physically mean, yet they would purposely exclude someone. What they don’t realize is that the pain they cause by excluding someone can be just as painful as getting physically hit.