Do you ever wish your emotions didn’t get in the way? Would you like to remain calm and composed under pressure like a pro?

Your emotions can either help or hurt your performance. Pros are able to manage their emotions in any situation.

The pros don’t allow their emotions to control them, they don’t make unnecessary errors when frustrated or attack when they are angry. They can stay calm and composed even under strong emotions.

10 Tips to Manage your Emotions like a Pro:

1. Self-awareness:

   It’s important to be aware of what situations cause you to become emotional; sad, nervous, worried, angry or frustrated. Identify specific situations; for example, “when people don’t do what they say they are going to,” “when people are rude,” “when people don’t say hello or acknowledge your presence” or “when people say a derogatory, negative comment.”

It’s important to understand what causes your out of control emotions.

Now you can be on the lookout for those “hot spots.”

2. Use a thought diary:

   Identify and record which thoughts, emotions and behaviorsare showing up the most and when they are showing up. This will help you see your pattern and increase your self-awareness which is a HUGE step in managing your emotions.

3. Understand how thoughts cause emotions:

   Thoughts help create emotions. For example thinking “They shouldn’t say they’re going to do something and then not do it” or “People should never talk to me in a negative way” will cause you to be frustrated.

Sometimes you may think you feel an emotion for no reason. For example you may be anxious and not know why, however often this is caused by worrying about what is going to happen. For example, you may be thinking, “I might not say the right thing” or “I might not know how to handle the situation” and these thoughts will cause you to be anxious as they create doubt and uncertainty in your ability.

Sometimes these thoughts can happen subconsciously without you realizing it. It takes a conscious effort to start to become aware of what’s playing beneath the surface.

The pros understand their thoughts and know they can control them in order to create productive emotions.

4. Develop a routine:

   You need to create a refocusing routine to use every  time your mind leaves the zone and you become too emotional.

This should be a series of routines and strategies that you follow each time you feel your emotions heating up.  It’s like pressing the reset button on your mind so you can return to the calm and composed “zone.”

5. Use breathing and relaxation techniques:

   Some of the common physical body responses when you get emotional are; muscle tension, increased heart rate and breathing, racing thoughts and feeling extra hot or cold. If you can learn to manage your body responses, you will be taking a big step in managing your feelings.

You can use techniques such as deep breathing, centering and muscle relaxation. With practice you will be able to use them successfully to manage your emotions within a few seconds or a few breaths.

6. Visualization:

   This is a powerful technique that can help to remove or create emotions. It’s a skill like anything else that can be learned and improved with practice.

For example, to calm down you can visualize the color blue or peaceful scenes such as a beach or being immersed in your favorite activity.

You can also manage frustration and increase confidence or calm by visualizing in advance yourself responding confidently and calmly to situations.

7. Understand Empowering vs Disempowering Thoughts:

   You need to recognize and understand the types of thoughts that increase uncomfortable emotions. Thoughts that disempower you are judging, complaining, focusing on mistakes, focusing on what you don’t want, or worrying about the future.

You can then identify when you are creating unhelpful emotions with your thoughts.

 Choose to use more helpful thoughts that will create more productive emotions.

Thoughts that help you include: Focusing on the present, positive affirmations, thinking more about what you want than what you don’t want, thoughts of appreciation and gratitude, and focusing on what you can learn from the situation.

8. Thought control:

   Understand and use techniques to control your mind and your emotions. If you are able to identify when you are thinking incorrectly you can then use techniques such as, thought stopping, changing the channel and reframing.

Remember, you are in control of your mind and can choose what to think and what not to think.

9. Develop emotional game plans:

   Use your knowledge gained from step one and make plans for the situations that cause your out-of-control emotions.

10. Use positive body language:

    I’m sure you have heard of “fake it until you make it,” well it actually works and using the correct body languagecan actually change your emotions. For example if you are frustrated and you use positive body language instead of the usual negative responses, your mind will follow your body and you will start to think more positively.

Examples of this include: holding your head up high, making eye contact, sticking your chest up and keeping your back straight, walking with purpose and using energetic movements such as bouncing/jumping up and down.

Managing emotions so they don’t harm your relationships is a skill you can learn.

If you’d like to develop a customized, individualized plan, call and schedule a FREE, no obligation get acquainted session so you can learn more about Fay and her coaching services. Contact me by email: fay@fayprairie.com or by phone: 507-829-0181.