Even one hour can be challenging…..
But…..If you can, then you can change your life.
We’ve all been negative and crabby and we certainly know what it’s like to be around others who are negative and crabby.
……….No one likes it and it doesn’t feel good.
……….In fact, it can feel quite awful.
NEGATIVITY can damage your relationships with your–
- Kids
- Significant Other
- Co-workers
- Friends
- In-laws
Negative emotions – like anger, contempt, and depression can seep into your entire body and damage your health.
Sometimes you can feel the simmering bitterness eating away at your stomach, raising your blood pressure, and turning your shoulder and neck muscles to stone
Negativity just doesn’t do anyone much good.
On the opposite end, research has shown that POSITIVITY helps you:
- See possibilities
- Bounce back from setbacks
- Connect with others
- Become the best version of yourself
CAN YOU GO AN HOUR WITHOUT HAVING A NEGATIVE THOUGHT?
About 8 years ago Pastor Bowen, author of the book “No More Complaining” came up with the idea of encouraging people to go twenty-one days without complaining.
Over 10 million people have tried it: You wear a rubber bracelet to remind you of your goal, but each time you complained, you had to put the bracelet on the other wrist and begin your 21 days anew.
It may sound easy, but it takes most people four to eight months to go 21 days without complaining!
I’ve never succeeded!
But in making the attempt, I increased my awareness and drastically reduced the number of times I complained.
Seriously, most people have no idea how often they complain.
I know I didn’t!
Complaining is negative.
Research does say that there is a part of our brain that is always on the lookout for problems.
We’ll always do some complaining.
Some would say that reducing your complaining is an experience that is worth 100’s of hours of therapy.
What if you tried to go without complaining today?
How do you think you’d do?
Give it a try.
Then tomorrow move it up a notch and try to go without a negative thought.
Maybe first start out with seeing if you can go a single hour without a negative thought.
Negative thoughts include:
……. worries, doubts, fears, disappointments, etc.
I’ve already recognized several negative thoughts in my head just since I started writing this post.
They can be such persistent little devils!
Don’t be surprised if you have as many as 25-100 negative thoughts/feelings in a single hour.
In a study with 100 people, only 3 people were able to get past one hour without negative thinking.
Truthfully, I’m not sure it’s even possible.
But, just doing the exercise will tilt the balance toward positivity.
Awareness alone can move us in the right direction.
As I always say it’s difficult to change something if you’re not even aware of it.
Tuthfully, most people ARE NOT aware of how often they have negative thoughts.
I’ve had people tell me how positive they are and then turn around and judge and complain about others. (not even realizing that they are being negative)
Here’s extra credit for you.
Each time you catch a negative thought, generate 3 positive thoughts to cancel the negative one out.
Barbara Fredrickson’s Positive Psychology research shows that you need THREE POSITIVE THOUGHTS to counteract each NEGATIVE THOUGHT you have.
We have to intentionally choose to be positive because we all have a natural bias toward negativity.
Fredrickson’s research shows that positivity can transform people’s lives. A positive state of mind can enhance relationships, improve health, relieve depression, and broaden the mind.
Fredrickson draws on the imagery of the water lily to illustrate her theory: “Just as water lilies retract when sunlight fades, so do our minds when positivity fades” (Fredrickson 2009, p. 55).
Your First Challenge-Go a day without complaining.
Your Second Challenge-Go an hour without being negative.
Let me know how you do.
Good Luck.
You’ll have to put an imaginary wire tap in your brain to catch those complaining, negative thoughts and words!
We’re so used to focusing on our external world and not looking in and observing what’s going on in our internal world.
When you change your thoughts, you change your life
