7 Things that you can Control that will make a BIG Difference in your Life

1. What you see and believe about your world

If you believe people are good, then you will find the good in people.

If you believe it’s possible, then you will find possibilities.

If you believe you can do what you set out to do, you will see a way.

If you believe in love and compassion, you will find love and compassion

2. The mindset and meaning you choose to give to everything in life.

Positive people live happier lives than negative people

You are in control of your mindset

Shifting this can change everything

Choose to see the magic in the mess.

Choose to see the power you developed from your pain.

Choose to see the strength you gained from your struggles.

Choose to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

3. The amount of kindness and compassion you give to yourself and others

When you give kindness and compassion, the universe returns with interest

Giving kindness and compassion to others not only lifts them but it lifts you too.

Choose kindness over the need to be right.

If you want more love, give more love

If you want more kindness, be kinder

If you want a better friend, then be a better friend

You will attract back to you what you give out.

If you want a better co-worker, then be a better co-worker

If you want better communication, then be a better communicator

If you want to be closer to someone, then try to share more and allow yourself to be closer to them

Regardless of what others do, be kind

And watch others around you start to change

It’s easy to be kind to those who are being kind to us

But the real challenge is to be kind to those who aren’t

4. Put in the Effort to improve yourself

You must put in the work if you want the results

You are always in control of the amount and quality of work and effort you put into improving yourself

You are always in control of your own self-development and growth

You must be growing in order to expand your mind and soul

You must be growing and learning in order to improve your life

You must be growing and learning to become strong enough to handle obstacles and challenges with more ease

Commit to self-growth

Anything that makes you feel better

Anything that makes you stronger, wiser and more powerful

5. You are in charge of your level of gratitude

There’s no better way to improve your day or your life than to have gratitude for what you do have

What is great in your life right now?

What can you appreciate today?

Spend a lot of time on gratitude. All successful people have learned the importance of gratitude!

 

6. Choose to be in the present moment

Most people live almost exclusively in their head

Stuck in an endless cycle of worry and anxiety about the future

Stuck in an endless cycle of regret about the past

Stuck in an endless cycle of thoughts that don’t offer real value to their life.

Be one of the few who lives in the present moment.

Enjoy the little things.

Leave your phones and devices behind more often and enjoy who you are with and what you are doing without all those distractions.

Get out of your head—out of the past or the future and be in the NOW.

It’s the happiest place to be!

7. Choose who you surround yourself with

Are you around people who give you energy or people who drain your energy?

Choose to be around people who give you energy, who lift you up, who get you, and that allow you to be you.

When you take control and choose

these seven areas in your life,

you will make a BIG positive

difference in your life.

Is it good or is it bad?

An old Chinese farmer lost his best stallion one day and his neighbor came around to express his regrets, “that’s too bad you lost your horse.”

The farmer just said, “Who knows what is good and what is bad.”

The next day the stallion returned bringing with him 3 wild mares. The neighbor rushed back to celebrate with the farmer, “that’s so wonderful that you gained 3 new mares.”

The farmer simply said, “Who knows what is good and what is bad.”

The following day, the farmer’s son fell from one of the wild mares while trying to break her in and broke his arm and injured his leg.

The neighbor came by to give his condolences, “that’s too bad your son fell and hurt himself,”

The old farmer just said, “Who knows what is good and what is bad.”

The next day the army came to the farm to enlist the farmer’s son for the war, but found him invalid and left him with his father.

The neighbor thought to himself, “Who knows what is good and what is bad.” – 

Taoist parable

We use good-or-bad to categorize nearly everything in our lives — events, people, food, decisions and it’s a trap that causes us emotional pain.

The lesson of the story is that it’s just a matter of time until good things are born out of the seemingly bad, and vice versa.

What is bad leads to good leads to bad leads to good. The farmer is wise enough to know it all comes out in the wash.

How can we use this story to help us handle life’s challenging situations?

When you experience a “bad” event, try to imagine what possible good could come out of it, even if it’s many years from now or even if it just makes you more empathetic or prepared next time.

Not convinced? Look back on something bad from your past and connect the dots between that event and real happiness or something good that came later as a direct result of that breakup, layoff, sickness etc.

We often fail to see what long-term effect can be born out of what is happening now.

Once you can get into the habit of trying to find the good inside of the bad, you will start to temper your reactions to the peaks and valleys in your life.

With so much unpredictability and chaos in our uncertain world, I’ve learned that sometimes it doesn’t really help the situation to label it as “good” or “bad”.  But rather, we need to say “it is what it is.”  All the overanalysis, overthinking and overlabeling doesn’t really accomplish anything worthwhile.

In fact, often times it makes us feel worse.  We get stressed out, anxious and overwhelmed when things are different  (BAD) from the way we believe they ought to be (GOOD).

Then we feel hurt, disappointed, upset, resentful, etc.

In order to better deal with life, we need to accept that life is supposed to be unpredictable, good, bad, ugly, and great all rolled up together.

Is there something in your life that you’d like to change?

Maybe–

• Improve a relationship?
• Overcome anxiety stress or worry?
• Increase your peace and happiness?
• Lose some weight?
• Or, maybe you’d like to be more focused and productive?

Most of us have an area of our life where we feel frustrated and stuck.

What would improve your life?

Often we know what we need to do but we still don’t do it.

It’s like we’re locked in a jail cell and we keep living the same way– day after day–over and over again. We know the changes we want to make but we just can’t seem to make it happen.

Neuroscience shows that our mind has POWERFUL capabilities to make changes in our life.

So, why don’t we do it?

A BIG thing that holds us back is FEAR.

Three types of FEAR that keep us stuck.

1. FEAR OF PAIN and DISCOMFORT

It will be agony and pain to make those changes! It will be torture and misery to do the things you need to do! It will be stressful and frustrating! You just want to avoid all of those uncomfortable feelings. Your mind tries to keep you in your comfort zone even if long term it’s really more miserable than making the change. The unfamiliar is scary.

2. FEAR OF IT BEING TOO DIFFICULT

It’s too hard! It will take so much work! I’m going to have to focus, learn new things—it will take so much energy and time. I’ll have to do this and I’ll have to do that and it’s just too overwhelming to even think about it! I’ll do it ‘someday’ when I have more time and energy. (even though quite frequently-someday-never comes)

3. FEAR OF ALL YOUR EFFORT BEING DONE FOR NOTHING

What if I go through all that work, spend all that time trying and nothing changes anyway.

What if:

• I gain the weight back?
• My relationship is still bad?
• I’m still not happy?
• I’m still anxious and stressed out?
• I can’t do it?
• It’s just not possible for me?
• Nothing ever changes?

When you think all those NEGATIVE things, your body releases CHEMICALS into your system that make you FREEZE.

You don’t go forward with making the changes in your life.

These three FEAR MINDSETS keep you stuck in that jail cell where you really don’t want to be!

You start to replay these thoughts over and over again in your mindthey become habitual thoughts that keep you stuck in the same jail cell day after day.

You associate PAIN to CHANGE. It’s easier to just stay where you are, even if it is miserable.

So, even though you are holding the key to unlock the jail cell, you stay in it.

What are you missing out on in your life by continuing to live with things the way they are?

When we first start making changes, it’s like a rocket ship taking off from earth. It takes an immense amount of fuel and energy to get the rocket off the ground but once it’s in flight, the fuel and energy usage tapers off tremendously.

It’s the same way for us; it can take what feels like a tremendous amount of energy to get moving and making changes but once we get into the flow of it, the amount of work and energy it takes levels off and it becomes much easier.

We FEAR the PAIN of that initial startup and think it’s going to continue to be that difficult the entire time.

Remember that getting off the ground or getting started uses the majority of the fuel and energy.

It’s your mind’s job to keep you in your comfort zone and even though there’s an area of your life that would really benefit from making changes, the FEAR of pain FEAR of difficulty FEAR of inability to do it keeps you locked in that jail cell.

But, you do hold the key to get yourself out!

What would your life be like if you could learn to reorient your mind around pain so you could start to move past it and move towards pleasure and creating the life you want to live?

Sometimes making changes can be difficult to do on your own. What if you had someone to walk along your side, to support and encourage you when things seem too PAINFUL?

Contact Fay to see how personal life coaching can help you change the mindsets that are keeping you stuck in that same jail cell day after day.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Fay Prairie is a counselor, personal life coach and speaker specializing in personal development, relationships and empowering mindsets. She helps set you free from stress and negativity so you can start creating a Better You…Better Relationships…Better Life…

Fay also provides workshops and trainings.  Check out her speaking page by  Clicking Here

Contact Fay to set up a FREE 30 minute call to discover how Personalized Life Coaching can help you to begin making positive changes in your life!   (e-mail fay@fayprairie.com or call 507-829-0181) 

Get really, really good at

HITTING the DELETE button!

 

Whether it’s stress, worry, anxiety, relationships or making it through a difficult obstacle in your life; If you want your life to be better, you’ve got to think better!

Our mind is like a computer.

You can have the best, newest computer with the latest, largest memory available– But, if your computer gets a virus-it’s not going to run right.

Sometimes you get a virus.

 

Your negative thoughts and mindsets are just like a virus.

When this happens, you need to reload new software in the computer just like you need to take time to reprogram your mind.

Just like it’s not the computer or the hardware that’s defective, it’s not you that’s defective but you just need to work on getting the right software or the right thoughts.

Your programming needs to change in order to live a good life.

You can reprogram yourself to be healthier, happier and more at peace.

You can re-program yourself to be a

victor and not a victim.

 

As you’ve faced life obstacles and challenges throughout your life, you may have been contaminated with some viruses.

Thoughts like:

• “I’ll never break this addiction”
• “I’ll never lose weight”
• “I’m too slow”
• “I’m unattractive”
• “I can’t do this”
• “Things will never get better”
• “This relationship is over.”

You need to reinstall new software to get rid of the virus. (get rid of the negative thinking)

Change them to:

• “I’m strong”
• “I’m capable”
• “I’m hopeful”
• “I can do this”
• “It’s possible”
• “Every day things are getting better and better”
• “I’ve got what it takes to get through this.”

Reinstall software that works!!

Reinstall software that gets you the results you want to have in life!!

You’ve got to change your inner programming, (thoughts and mindsets)in order to change your life.

You’ve got to learn to hit the DELETE button when negative thoughts come.

Those negative thoughts are a VIRUS trying to hold you back in life.

When you think:

• “It will never get better” Delete, Delete, Delete and replace it with,
• “Things are getting better and better every day.”

When you think:

• “I just don’t have what it takes” Delete, Delete, Delete and replace it with,
• “I’m learning and improving every day”

When you think:

• “I’ll never reach my goals” Delete, Delete, Delete

When you think:

“I’ll never break this addiction” (overeating, overdrinking, negative thinking, worrying, depression) Delete, Delete, Delete

You have to get really good at hitting

the DELETE button!!

 

You don’t have what it takes–DELETE

You can’t do it-DELETE

It’s not going to work out-DELETE

It’s too hard-DELETE

Your spouse is an awful, terrible person–DELETE

Become an expert at hitting

the DELETE button!

 

If you continue to let negative thoughts play over and over in your mind, they will CONTAMINATE your life!

Quit dwelling on negative thoughts-it’s like a COMPUTER VIRUS and if you let it take over, it will ruin your operating system and things won’t run right!!

If you think you’re not good enough-you’ll never have the confidence to be who you really are capable of being.

If you think you can’t handle some situation, then you’re right you can’t.

That OPERATING VIRUS makes you think your negative thoughts are true, but they aren’t!

It’s not too late; you can still reprogram your computer even after it gets a virus.

You can reprogram your mind.

 

If you think you’re inadequate, that you are defective, that you aren’t good enough—DELETE IT!

You would be amazed by the potential and ability that lies within you.

If you think You can’t do it. If you think You don’t have what it takes. Clear it out-Delete it, Delete it, Delete it.

If you think You’re undisciplined. DELETE IT

What thoughts are you dwelling on??

 

What viruses are you allowing to infect your operating system?

If you want to have success in any are of your life, you have to have positive thoughts of hope. The thoughts you continually think become your reality.

You have to start getting rid of those viruses–Start deleting those negative thoughts.

Start saying:

“It’s possible”

“I can do it”

“Things are getting better every day”

“I am strong, beautiful, talented”

“I am good enough”

“I have amazing potential”

Get rid of those viruses that have been passed down by your past family and all the teachers in your life-the kids around you growing up.

You’ve let the programming of all the people you’ve been around creep into your mind.

Do you want to let other people’s programming affect you?

• Walt Disney was told he wasn’t creative.
• Lucille Ball was told she had no talent.
• Elvis Presley was told he should go back to driving truck.

The common denominator between them is that they chose to remove the negative labels, the viruses and believe in themselves.

Other people are always putting labels on us and we are often putting labels on ourselves-most of the time those labels are not in agreement with who you really are!

Put on new labels-for a bright future-and a new beginning.

When your thoughts are better,

your life will be better.

 

Some people go through their whole day wondering how bad it’s going to be or thinking about how bad it’s been.

Don’t replay doom and gloom.

Don’t focus on imagining future doom and gloom.

Reprogram your mind and start to play a new recording in your mind throughout the day.

Remember you’ve got to

change your thoughts to change your life.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Fay Prairie is a counselor, personal life coach and speaker specializing in personal development, relationships and empowering mindsets. She helps set you free from stress and negativity so you can start creating a Better You…Better Relationships…Better Life…

Fay also provides workshops and trainings.  Check out her speaking page by  Clicking Here

Contact Fay to set up a FREE 30 minute call to discover how Personalized Life Coaching can help you to begin making positive changes in your life!   (e-mail fay@fayprairie.com or call 507-829-0181)