Are your thoughts stopping you, slowing you down or moving you forward?
We ARE NOT just at the mercy of our thoughts. We can stop and delete the thoughts that make us feel BAD and hold us back and replace them with POSITIVE thoughts that make us feel good and move us forward!
4 Steps to Thought Stopping
Step One: AWARENESS!
You can usually tell when you are having a negative thought because you will have a negative feeling along with it. When you feel the negative feeling, ask yourself, “What was I just thinking? What was going through my mind?”
Step Two: STOP!
Stop the thought or image by seeing a big, red stop sign in your mind’s eye and silently and firmly shout STOP! Visualize yourself deleting that thought-like pressing “delete” on your computer.
Step Three: REPLACE!
Instead of telling yourself, “I’ll never get things right,” train yourself to say, “I’m having a thought that I’ll never get things right.”
This little change of wording gives you distance and reminds you that your negative thought is just a thought—it’s not reality!!
Saying, ‘Boy, did I feel stupid,’ rather than ‘I am so stupid’ may seem minor, but there’s a significant difference,” The former describes a thought, and you are not your thoughts!
You can learn to say, “There goes my gremlin again—with that I’m not good enough story.”
This helps remind you that it is just a story and not the truth.
Now REPLACE it with a thought that empowers you.
“I’ll figure it out,” “I can do this,” I’m quite capable,” “I can handle this.”
Step Four: STAND UP!
Have a nice heart to heart chat with your gremlin and remind him of all the strengths and positive attributes you do have. Tell him you’re not perfect but no one is. Tell him it’s nice he’s looking out for you but you are fine without his critical comments. It will feel empowering to find your voice and stand up for yourself! Even if it is to yourself!
As you practice, practice, and practice, you will learn to tame your inner gremlin with the benefit of INCREASED SELF-CONFIDENCE and belief in your ability!
Use this thought stopping technique every time you have negative self-talk. DO NOT let it go unchallenged!
Ah, Fay! If only we always kept in mind the things we already know. I had a major stop traffic, all intersections closed, no detour available, red light moment tonight. (Happens to the best of us occassionally.) Your post made me smile as I remembered, hey, “You have a choice, so stop staring at the red light as if it were an insurmountable barrier. Shift that perspective and get on with your amazing life!”
(And I did FEEL silly, once I realized that I had let that slip in. Fortunately, that was just a perspective that no longer served me.)
With over 60,000 thoughts running through our unconscious every day it is a wonder that we can keep track of any of them. Unfortunately, our conscious is a little obsessive and seems to track particular negative ones and ignores the positive ones. That makes your simple technique even more important to ensure we create blinders and focus on the right thoughts, those that fills us and move us forward to even better things.
Great practice Fay! Negative self talk is such a huge issue, especially for women. It can keep us from living large and going after our dreams. You break down the STOP process so easily in four steps … they should teach this in schools.
I love this practice of thought-stopping, Fay! We really need reminding that our thoughts don’t have to control our lives and that we can learn to re-direct them in a way that is helpful to us! Very powerful practice!!
the negative self-talk and hidden beliefs that infect our joy is a huge part of what we tackle in the Journey to the Center of Your Heart Workshop. Once we tackle these errant voices we are well on our way to joy! Love the Red, Yellow and Green analogy!