Have you ever been around someone who had so many SHOULDS that it was impossible to be around them without being corrected or feeling criticized?

It’s like you can just feel the judgement emanating out of them.

People who use too many SHOULDS, OUGHTS, MUSTS and HAVE TO’S are very demanding and judgmental and they make life miserable for themselves and others.

People who have very high demands of others tend to have way more problems in their relationships.

SHOULDS, OUGHTS and MUSTS create anger and frustration.

• You SHOULD have done this.
• You SHOULD have done that.
• You SHOULD have said this.
• You SHOULD have said that.

People who have demands also have more guilt.

• I SHOULD have done this.
• I SHOULD have done that.

When people can minimize their demands, and change their “SHOULDS” into preferences, they can massively increase their peace and happiness and improve their relationships. (not to mention lowering their stress and anxiety)

Start to catch yourself each time you say a SHOULD on someone.

Change the SHOULD into a request or a preference.

Instead of angrily saying,

“You SHOULD have called me and told me you’d be late.”

          You can say….

“I wish you would have called me and told me you’d be late.”

Instead of DEMANDING:

“You SHOULD stay home with me!”

          You can say, 

“I’d prefer that you stay home with me tonight.”

Try changing-SHOULD into–

“I wish”

“I’d prefer”

“I’d like”

See what happens.

The fewer SHOULDS you use, the better off you 

AND the people in your life will be.

Not every SHOULD is going to create a problem.

It’s more the demanding SHOULDS that need to be watched.

But to be on the safe side, you can just start to practice using–

“I prefer” or “I’d really like it if…” 

instead of “you SHOULD”….

How SHOULDS impacted Jack’s life:

Jack had had more rules and regulations than the Army, Navy and Air Force combined.

No wonder he was on his 3rd marriage and having issues with co-workers.

Jack also had an estranged relationship with his brother because Jack had so many SHOULDS about what his brother SHOULD be doing in his life.

Jack decided to stop deciding what others SHOULD and SHOULDN’T do.

When Jack started managing his “SHOULDS” his life changed for the better.

An enormous burden was lifted from his shoulders.

He stopped taking life so seriously and lightened up.

Many people are unwilling or unable to drop their SHOULDS.

“You SHOULD have known better!”

“You SHOULD stop doing that!”

“You SHOULD handle it this way!”

Allow yourself to drop yours!

Give yourself permission to let them go!

Catch your SHOULDS  

Change them into preferences or wishes:

“I WISH you’d stop doing that.”

“I’d PREFER that you did it this way.”

Try it out.

See how much better you feel!

Remember that small changes done consistently and persistently add up to BIG results.