Do you focus on how things should be which leads to criticism and feelings of resentment when they aren’t that way?

Are your expectations making you miserable?

The more we expect our expectations to be met, the more disappointment, frustration, anxiety, and anger we experience in our life.

Do you find yourself saying or thinking:

“Why don’t you do it this way”

“Why didn’t you??”

“I can’t believe you said that”

What are your rules and expectations of others?

How do you feel when people break those rules?

Do they even know what your expectations are?

Is it really fair to expect them to be just like you expect them to be?

Are you the way others expect you to be?

Sometimes our expectations are met; often they’re not.

People get upset when things don’t go their way but is that really the reason they’re upset?

This may be really hard to swallow, but it’s your thoughts about the situation, your expectations that cause you to be upset more than it is the situation itself.

Can you change your thoughts?

Yes, you can.

Example #1

Sally’s kids are:

1. Not listening
2. Fighting
3. Being disrespectful.

Sally’s thoughts are:

1. I am a terrible mother
2. Why can’t my kids listen and be respectful like they should be
3. I should have control and be able to make them stop

Sally feels sad, upset, angry, frustrated, stressed out and like a failure.

Example #2

Joan’s kids are:

1. Not listening
2. Fighting
3. Being disrespectful

Joan’s thoughts are:

1. This too shall pass-I can handle this.
2. They are kids and kids will be like this-it’s totally unrealistic to think they won’t.
3. All kids have times when they fight—it’s normal
4. It’s totally unrealistic to think I can have complete control over them.

Joan feels slightly annoyed with the situation but also understanding, compassionate, accepting and hopeful.

 

Can you see how in the exact same situation our thoughts (expectations)  have the power to intensify our negative feelings?

The first thing to do when you have a disturbing situation is to ask yourself,

“How am I thinking about this situation?”

“Are my thoughts empowering and helping me?

Or

“Are my thoughts disempowering and dragging me down further?”

If your thoughts are dragging you down, make a decision to choose new thoughts, thoughts that are more helpful to you.

You’ll be amazed at the shifts that can occur when you are willing to see things with a new perception. 

This is how you truly step into your power.

When you decide and learn how to take control of your thoughts and your mind versus letting your thoughts control you.

 

Focus on releasing your thoughts about how you imagined life to be (your expectations) and be more accepting of the way life is.

You are capable of changing every area of your life by adjusting your point of view.

Stop expecting other people to act exactly as you would like them to.

It’s a game you’re guaranteed to lose.

 

A sentence I often use in these situations and it has saved me a lot of distressful feelings.

It would be nice if……………..

It would be nice if they’d listen.

It would be nice if they didn’t fight.

It would be nice if………….. (whatever you want to insert here)

But, the reality is that everyone doesn’t think, act and follow my script.  That’s life!

So, although it would be nice, it’s not realistic!

When you can lighten up on your expectations,

you’ll also be lightening up on your stress, negativity, anxiety and frustration

which will make your life EASIER!