Lacy had the following thoughts several times each day.
- I’m so dumb!
- I can’t believe I said that! How stupid!!
- I don’t fit in! I’m so wierd!
- I’m not as smart as everyone else.
- Why doesn’t anyone like me?
- There must be something wrong with me. I’m just not any fun!
- What’s the use—it will never get better!
How would you feel if you consistently REPEATED these THOUGHTS to yourself?
Lacy had brainwashed herself to believe these thoughts were true. She was BULLYING herself! Someone else may have said these once to her but she was saying them 100 times to herself!
She began to look for all the ways she was stupid, dumb, wierd, wrong, disliked; and, she found them.
Were her thoughts true? NO! There was an abundant amount of evidence that proved her thoughts were not true, yet Lacy overlooked all of it.
- Lacy overlooked all the friends she did have.
- Lacy minimized her successes and focused on all her failures.
- Lacy compared herself to others and always came up short.
If unchanged, these NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS can spiral out of control!
5 tips to help Lacy or anyone to change their thinking!
1. You have the ability to choose your thoughts. You have control over what you think in your mind. You can think the thought, “I’m so stupid,” or choose to delete that thought and replace it with “I’ve got a great mind and great ideas!”
2. Just because you think a thought doesn’t make it true. Many of our thoughts are NOT TRUE, so learn to question them. Would this thought stand up in a court of law? Could Jack McCoy convince the jury that this thought is true? Or, could you find some evidence that would crack the case?
3. Become aware of what you are thinking. It’s hard to change something if you don’t even know what it is. Keep a journal for a few weeks and periodically record the thoughts you are thinking.
4. Dispose your disempowering thoughts. For instance, visualize hitting a delete button and the thought is gone! See the thought written in sand and then washed out to sea by a big wave. Throw the thought in a fire and watch it sizzle away.
5. Now replace it with an empowering thought or positive affirmation.
CHANGE
“I’m dumb and stupid” to “I’m a great person with lots of potential.”
“I’m weird,” to “I am unique and wonderful just like I was meant to be!”
“Why doesn’t anyone like me?” to “I have many great friends who like me.”
Which THOUGHTS feel more EMPOWERING?
Which THOUGHTS would you rather be BRAINWASHED with?
YOU HAVE A CHOICE!
Either you control your mind or your mind controls you!
Change my thoughts, change my life! I’m currently working on this with meditation around self-love, an area of deep rooted limitation I have recently uncovered. I’m practicing turning my thoughts around in the moment as they occur and conjuring the feeling of being full of love a few times day. So far, so good!
That sounds like a great practice, Aly. One that would be good for everyone of us to do everyday! Keep building that muscle and it will become second nature after awhile!!
Fay you know you’re talking my language! We have to keep spreading the word to help folks overcome their inner critic. Great tips!
You are right, Elaine! That’s why I’m always attracted to your “mindset” work. It’s amazing how long I’ve been working on it and it’s still easy to fall into “mind” traps. I guess, like alot of things, it’s a journey and not a destination. It is sad what those inner thoughts can do to people, like making them feel so bad about themselves and the thoughts aren’t even true! Thanks for your reply!
I love number three, and think it should become number one! We can’t change anything until we wake up and become aware! This is sooooo hard on a day to day basis and so important!! Great, great list!
You’re right, it should be listed as #1! Being aware really does take a conscious effort! I now try to use my feelings as my GPS system–if I’m feeling off then I ask, “What was I just thinking?”