Ever try to hide your true feelings?

Posted on April 26, 2023 by Fay Prairie

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I’m not mad.

No, that doesn’t upset me.

It’s fine.

Truly inside it may not be fine, but you’ll hide that behind your mask.

A large majority of us have grown up being taught to hide our feelings.

Expressing your true emotions can be like standing naked in front of someone–very uncomfortble.

As I’ve talked and visited with hundreds of people over the years, I find that alot of them are just like me–they didn’t grow up talking about feelings but rather pushing them aside.

Saying ‘fine’ when you’re not ‘fine’…

Suppressing ‘Anger’

Hiding ‘Pain’

Pusing away the tears.

Remembering the words–Get Over It!

We tend to think that showing emotions or being vulnerable is “BAD”…..”WRONG”….”WEAK”

The truth is……

We pay a high price for ignoring those most

TENDER parts of ourself.

Ignored and suppressed emotions often manifest as anxiety, which is at an all time high with teens and adults.

We get further and further lost/disconnected from ourselves.

The avoidance and distancing from our feelings actually contributes to the intensity of uncomfortable feelings.

We can be highly judgmental of others but even more so, we are highly judgmental and under compassionate of ourselves.

Privately, this contributes to even more suffering.

More and more people are starting to see that our habitual ways of dealing with emotions is problematic.

Faced with a lifetime of emotional bad habits, how do we even begin to start to become healthier with our emotions?

We really need to learn how to feel our feelings and process our emotions.

Then they can mozy on.

When we ignore/suppress/bury our feelings, they can intensify and show up in ways that aren’t beneficial in our lives.

Like, anxiety, depression, anger, pain…… (the list goes on)

There are many ways that we avoid our emotions.

Sadly these ways can increase our suffering and limit our ability to feel happiness and joy.

Avoiding your emotions can put a strain on all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself.

If you’d like to discover how personal life coaching can help you or if you’re looking for a speaker or trainer for a workshop or event, reach out at fay@fayprairie.com or 507-829-0181 and we can set up a time to visit.

Do you ever do this in the shower?

Posted on April 15, 2023 by Fay Prairie

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Just now while I was in the shower, I started remembering a conversation from the weekend and I started replaying it in my mind.

Then I started judging–how dare he say that…

Then I started getting upset–that was so wrong…

Then I thought about more of the conversation

Then I started overthinking.

Then I started getting resentful

Then I got even more worked up…..

Then I CAUGHT MYSELF

I was letting my mind have control

It was totally taking me out of the moment

I couldn’t even remember if I washed my hair

I was too busy getting worked up about the past.

Ever do that?

I told my mind to STOP IT!

“I’m the boss and I wasn’t going to let it do that to me.”

“BE WHERE YOUR FEET ARE!”

Which obviously my feet were with me in the shower-

Not back in that weekend conversation.

I reminded myself:

The happiest place you can be is in the present moment.

Mind wandering is what causes most upsets in life.

After my shower, I took 5 minutes and used my ART CPR system to examine ‘that thought’ that got me all worked up.

Thank goodness I was able to do a U TURN on my thoughts or I fear I’d have carried that negative attitude with me for a good chunk of the day.

A in ART CPR stands for Awareness--being aware of your feelings and aware of the thoughts that are leading to those feelings.

Awareness is always the first step. You can’t change anything you aren’t aware of.

Yet, we’re often so busy with distractions and everything else going on that we aren’t AWARE of what’s going on inside of us.

Today, take some time and randomly through the day, just notice how you’re feeling and thinking.

AWARENESS is truly the foundation of Emotional Intelligence.

AWARENESS alone can help you make POSITIVE changes in your life.

Go on over to my You Tube channel and with this link https://youtu.be/OdHO6oxHRD0 you’ll be able to watch my video on AWARENESS.

It’s honestly something that would benefit all of us to work on.

Here’s to becoming more AWARE!

Are you Here? Or There?

Posted on April 2, 2023 by Fay Prairie

How do we keep ourselves in the present moment?

Try these 5 Strategies

Strategy #1 Focus on what you are doing right now

Each time your mind starts to wander—pull it back to FOCUS on the task in front of you.

Give yourself a command-

“I am going to put all of my minds energy on the task in front of me right now”

It can even help with listening and good communication—

“I am going to give all of my attention to this conversation that I am in right now”

When we spend too much time thinking about what happened yesterday, last week, last month or too much time thinking about next week, next month or next year, we miss out on the PRESENT MOMENT.

Strategy #2 Stay where your feet are.

If you’re always thinking about what you need to be doing next, and all the other things you need to be getting done, you’re no longer focused on the moment you’re in.

You create more feelings of overwhelm and stress because your mind is hopping ahead to the future.

Say to Yourself: Stay where your feet are…..It reminds you to be present, right here, right now.

When you start thinking about things that happened in the past:

Replaying past conversations
Mistakes you’ve made
Resentments that are eating you up
Embarrassing moments
Thoughts of how you should have done things differently

Say to yourself: Stay where your feet are. Your feet are right here, right now—not in those past situations.

Strategy #3 Savor the moment

Sometimes it’s so easy to be there but not really be there. Sometimes when we’re overwhelmed and life is going too fast, we numb out. Maybe we kiss our loved ones hello or goodbye but we don’t really ‘feel it’ because we’re not really there.

If you consistently remind yourself to slow down and savor the moment, over time you won’t feel so distracted or stressed.

Enjoy that hug!

Watch those birds play in that puddle!

Savor those children laughing!

Appreciate the color of the leaves!

You’ll be able to discover the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Slowing down and savoring what’s right in front of us can help us develop a sense of appreciation which helps us to feel more joy and happiness in our life.

Learning to “savor the moment” in life is a convenient, free, and effective way to increase your happiness and quality of life, and reduce stress

Strategy #4 Ask : “Where am I right now?” “Am I here?”

It’s just a simple question that can help you become aware of where your mind is—is it in the past, the future or the present.

If it’s in the past or future, you can then steer your mind back to the PRESENT.

Strategy #5 There’s No Next thing to get to right now.

Imagine that there is no next event, next task, next person or next anything to get to right now. Invite yourself to stop preparing or getting ready for something else. Just be totally focused on what you are doing now.

There’s no next thing to get to right now. Just be here with this.

Use these strategies and you’ll discover that the more you can keep your mind from traveling into the past or into the future, the less stress, frustration and anxiety you will have.

P.S. If you’d like some help improving your life or relationships, email or call me to set up a FREE time to visit about how getting a life coach can help you…..

Email fay@fayprairie.com

Phone 507-829-0181

Fay Prairie Better you. Better relationships. Better life.

Monthly Archives: April 2023