A woman was telling me that her boss was a very negative person. It felt like he constantly criticized and berated her about her work, even though other people consistently told her that she did a great job.
He was making her life miserable, but she needed the job and she actually liked her job.
She asked me what she should do.
I’ve really learned in life that the best place to start out is to talk to them.
Sometimes people don’ t even realize how they are coming across until they are called out on it and sometimes once you have the courage to call them out on it, they’ll start trying to be better.
Often, the reason someone bullies another is that they can get by with it. When you stop letting them treat you that way and you start calling them out on it and standing up for yourself, things can change.
I told her, the next time he criticizes you for any reason, turn to him, look him straight in the eye and say quite firmly,
“I would appreciate if you not talk to me like that ever again. It hurts my feelings and stops me from doing as good a job as you would like.”
If you’re not used to speaking up for yourself, this can take a tremendous amount of courage.
It was extremely hard for her but, she did it and she was amazed at how much it helped.
He drastically reduced the number of times he talked down to her. She continued to practice her skills by saying it each time it happened.
She’s now utterly amazed that he has almost completely stopped talking to her in that way.
He’s even caught himself a few times and apologized.
She said, “You mean I could have ended his bad temper and treatment of me a long time ago if I had only had the courage to confront him directly the first time it happened?”
- How many times is there something we’d like to say to someone but we’re afraid so we keep silent and hold it inside?
- How many times could a candid conversation with someone clear the air and save us days/weeks/months of pain and frustration?
Yet, we see the worst case scenario happening in our mind and become so fearful of it that we shy away from saying what needs to be said.
Often, when you identify the fear and move towards it, it grows smaller and more manageable.
In contrast, when you back away from a fear-inducing situation or person, your fear grows larger and larger.
Soon it dominates your thinking and preoccupies
you during the day and keeps you up at night.
Fear of confronting it is very common, yet the best way to deal with fear is to address it head on.
Your ability to confront, deal with and act in spite of your fears is the key to happiness and success.
You can start practicing now–Identify a person or situation in your life of which you are afraid and resolve to deal with that fear situation immediately.
Resolve to confront the situation or person
and put the fear behind you.
Take action now to work towards dissolving your unhappiness around the situation or person.
Remember the definition of courage is:
Feel the Fear and do it Anyway.
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Fay Prairie is a personal life coach and speaker specializing in relationships and POSITIVE, empowering mindsets.
She helps set you free from stress, anxiety, worry, negativity, and depression, so you can be a Better You, have Better Relationships and live a Better Life!
Contact Fay to set up a FREE 30 minute call to discover how Personal Life Coaching can help you to begin making positive changes in your life!
Are you rolling around in this?
