Life always has challenges, obstacles, problems and uncomfortable feelings.There’s no getting around or away from that!
The one thing you do have control over is the way you respond to these situations.
Your thoughts will either intensify your worry, anxiety, frustration and fear or your thoughts can help you successfully manage your emotions in a healthier way.
Why should you be concerned?
When you let your thoughts run “amok”, they are typically negative and negativity isn’t good for anyone.
It HARMS relationships, physical health, chances of success and it just plain and simply makes life more DIFFICULT!
Here are 3 steps to take towards managing your thoughts.
STEP ONE: BECOME MINDFUL OF WHAT YOU ARE THINKING
Recognize when your thoughts are starting to take you down the wrong road–a road that leads to higher levels of stress.
I was scheduled to speak to 300 people at 7pm. It was 3 pm and mapquest said I had 1 hour to drive. I had left early thinking I’d avoid traffic, sit in a coffee shop and arrive calm and collected.
Good Thing.
I was cruising on the freeway at 65 mph when all of a sudden, the passenger front tire blew.
My whole body was shaking with stress as I got the car pulled over without causing a full blown accident or killing anyone.
Knowing what I do about stress, I immediately started to do some deep breathing to calm myself.
Then the stories started! You know those stories that drive you crazy with anxiety and uncomfortable feelings.
“Oh, no. I’m going to miss my speech.”
“Oh, no. 300 people sitting there with no speaker.”
“Oh, no. How much will this cost me?”
“Oh, no. How am I going to get there?”
“Oh, no. I don’t even have the event coordinator’s number along.”
“Oh, no. This is going to be awful.”
As I mindfully observed my thoughts, I realized that these thoughts
WERE NOT going to be helpful.
STEP TWO: CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE NEW THOUGHTS
I remind myself that I have the ability to choose my thoughts. So again, I do some deep breathing and as my body starts to calm down, I mindfully steer my thoughts in a different direction.
What should I do?
Who should I call first?
Is there a way I can still make it to my speaking event on time?
Everything will be fine.
Just take it one step at a time.
Stop fretting about the future and just do what you can in this moment.
The only thing you can control is the action you take right now.
Everything will work out ok.
It’s always amazing to me how just changing our thoughts can calm us and help to reduce our level of stress and frustration.
The uncomfortable feelings may not completely go away but they become more manageable.
STEP THREE: CHOOSING THOUGHTS OF GRATITUDE
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After the tow truck driver brings my car to the shop, he offers to give me a ride to my speaking event.
I started to think of all the things I had to appreciate.
I’m grateful I didn’t get hurt
I’m grateful no one else got hurt.
I’m grateful the people I called were so nice.
I’m grateful the tow truck driver was so kind.
I’m grateful for the good road conditions.
I’m grateful I started out early in the day and still had a chance to make it on time.
Thoughts of gratitude lower our stress and the positive thoughts help cancel out the negative.
Never underestimate the power of gratitude! You can always find things to be thankful for!
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I arrived 15 minutes before I was scheduled to speak.
Everything was fine. (90% of the time the things we worry about never happen anyway)
We often need to remind ourselves that when things go wrong, when things don’t go the way we planned, we can easily spin into a series of unproductive stories and stress responses which aren’t helpful.
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THE CHOICE BELONGS TO US
It’s not easy.
When things don’t go as planned, it’s natural to spin out and let our minds make up a million stories that leave us stressed, frustrated and out of sorts.
I’ve had many times when I haven’t had the control over my mind and it starts spinning those stories that takes me to a negative place. I don’t like that negative place.
Each time we practice taking control of those stories, we strengthen our ability to take control of our mind versus letting our mind control us.
You too can choose relaxation responses over stress responses. I teach some simple techniques for how to do so in my coaching programs.
Contact Fay at fay@fayprairie.com to set up a free 30 minute consultation to learn more.
