• Do you ever assume things?
• Have your assumptions ever been wrong?
• Have your assumptions ever caused conflicts or hard feelings in your relationships?

ASSUMPTIONS are assuming a thought or story we have in our mind about something is REALITY when it isn’t.

You decide your thought is a “FACT” when you don’t have all the information.

FALSE ASSUMPTIONS build up over the years, and have the ability to destroy relationships.

• They’re unloving 
• They’re upset with me
• They don’t care about me

When someone doesn’t follow through on what they said they were going to do:

• They’re lazy, 
• They’re selfish
• They don’t care how I feel about this
• They’re hopeless

When someone doesn’t even acknowledge you at a gathering:

• You’ve done something to upset them
• They’re rude and a snob
• They’re stuck up
• They don’t like you
• You’re not important to them

When you give a speech, make a new recipee, get your hair done, etc. and no one notices or gives feedback:

• They didn’t like it
• It’s not good
• They don’t approve
• Their silence means it’s a flop

You’ve got something important to talk to someone about but you automatically assume how they will respond, so you avoid the conversation. You assume:

• They’ll be upset
• They’ll never understand
• They won’t care anyway, so what’s the use
• It will fall on deaf ears

“Do I want to assume my assumption is right or do I want to develop a deeper connection and grow closer by asking vs assuming?”

If you’re assuming something about someone in your life, at least give him or her the courtesy of checking out your assumptions.  

The worst that can happen is that they tell you you’re right-in which case it’s no longer an assumption, but a fact. 

We tend to create STORIES in our head (usually negative ones) that are FULL OF ASSUMPTIONS about the other person’s feelings and behavior.

These stories often have little to do with reality and usually make us very sad, angry and hurt. 

We then react to these unhappy stories with a “flight or fight” response and either attack, blame, or pull away.

This leads to an escalation of problems instead of resolution.

ASK YOURSELF the following QUESTIONS to gain an awareness of how assumptions may be affecting your relationships.

When we start working through natural assumptions that arise, we open up the door for real communication, and a healthier relationship.

1.Think of a relationship frustration you have.

2. When that frustrating thing happens, what goes on inside your head?

3. What does the other person’s actions make you think about yourself and about them?

4. What do you tell yourself inside when those frustrating things happen?

5.. And then, how do you end up feeling?

6.. How do you react as a result?

When you gain an

AWARENESS of the ASSUMPTIONS 

   you are making, then you can begin to

CATCH and CHALLENGE

yourself to create new ways of healthier and

more ACCURATE THINKING.