HOPE–An effective antidote to moving forward positively!

Posted on July 20, 2014 by Fay Prairie

Whether it’s bullying or another one of life’s obstacles, HOPE is part of the antidote.

Sometimes when we start to lose hope, we need someone else to share their hope with us until we can strengthen our own again. That’s a great gift we can give to one another.

Life has uncertainties, disappointments, and moments of despair. However, even when times get difficult and intimidating, as long as we keep HOPE alive, we can continue to move forward with confidence.

When you have HOPE, you BELIEVE and have FAITH that things will get better and you will PERSEVERE.

HOPE is a powerful ATTITUDE which opens doors where despair slams them shut.

The Webster definition of hope is the “feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best” or the “feeling that something desired may happen.”

How does HOPE help us in our life?

1. Hope helps us to feel stronger. When we truly believe things will get better, we are willing to do whatever it takes. With hope we can look to the future with confidence and excitement, and we can begin to do more than we ever imagined.

2. Hope helps us focus on the positive. Whatever we focus on grows. When we maintain our focus on the positives in our life, more positive things come into our life. Hope allows us to look forward to all the wonderful things in life.

3. Hope helps us envision possibilities and solutions. There will always be difficulties, but hope helps us to visualize good outcomes. It allows us to expect good things to happen.

4. Hope gives us the desire to learn and grow. Hope helps us regain interest and get involved more fully in life. By growing as a person we will make improvements that lead to greater life-satisfaction and well-being.

5. Hope helps us to take an empowered view toward life. A hopeful attitude helps us see the best, work for the best, and, ultimately, experience the best in life. Hope increases our joy, courage and level of success in life.

No matter what you face in life, always:

Think Hopefully

Speak Hopefully

Work Hopefully

Act Hopefully

Do all you can to make HOPE a daily habit.

Remind yourself that regardless of what happens in your life, you always have the option to choose HOPE.

9 Ways to Help a Target of Bullying

Posted on July 7, 2014 by Fay Prairie

4 Comments »

Caring, Connection and Cooperation

The 3 C’s we all Need

1. Take them seriously. Don’t dismiss their story because you don’t feel like it’s a big deal. It is a big deal to them and they need someone to truly understand how they are feeling.

2. Listen. Stop what you are doing and give them your full attention. The gift of listening to someone who is troubled is a great gift to give. You may have to be patient as it can take time for the story to come out.

3. Help them express their feelings. Ask questions to help them express their feelings but let them do the talking. Just being able to verbalize their situation and process their feelings out loud can be a healing experience.

4. Don’t discount their feelings. Be careful that you don’t try to talk them out of their feelings. It’s easy to want to convince someone that the way they feel is wrong, but what they really need is for you to hear and validate how they feel.

5. Use comforting words to help soothe them. Help them know that they can get through this and things can get better. Humans need three positive emotions to lift them up for every negative emotion that drags us down.

6. Help them reframe the question, “What’s wrong with me?” to “What is wrong with people who treat people this way?”

7. Ask them what solutions they can think of. This is a good opportunity for them to take an obstacle in their life and brainstorm solutions. You may make small suggestions but let this be their learning opportunity to problem solve. (dependent upon seriousness of bullying situation)

8. Teach assertiveness skills by role playing. Act out the bullying behavior and help them role play different responses they could try. Practicing assertiveness skills will make it more likely they’ll use it in a real situation.

9. Let them know you are there for them. Check back in with them and see how they are doing. Just knowing that a supportive, caring person is there to help can make a big difference in our ability to handle a situation.

5 Tips to Catch Negative Thoughts before they Spiral Out of Control!

Posted on July 3, 2014 by Fay Prairie

6 Comments »

Lacy had the following thoughts several times each day.

I’m so dumb!
I can’t believe I said that! How stupid!!
I don’t fit in! I’m so wierd!
I’m not as smart as everyone else.
Why doesn’t anyone like me?
There must be something wrong with me. I’m just not any fun!
What’s the use—it will never get better!

How would you feel if you consistently REPEATED these THOUGHTS to yourself?

Lacy had brainwashed herself to believe these thoughts were true. She was BULLYING herself! Someone else may have said these once to her but she was saying them 100 times to herself!

She began to look for all the ways she was stupid, dumb, wierd, wrong, disliked; and, she found them.

Were her thoughts true? NO! There was an abundant amount of evidence that proved her thoughts were not true, yet Lacy overlooked all of it.

Lacy overlooked all the friends she did have.
Lacy minimized her successes and focused on all her failures.
Lacy compared herself to others and always came up short.

If unchanged, these NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS can spiral out of control!

5 tips to help Lacy or anyone to change their thinking!

1. You have the ability to choose your thoughts. You have control over what you think in your mind. You can think the thought, “I’m so stupid,” or choose to delete that thought and replace it with “I’ve got a great mind and great ideas!”

2. Just because you think a thought doesn’t make it true. Many of our thoughts are NOT TRUE, so learn to question them. Would this thought stand up in a court of law? Could Jack McCoy convince the jury that this thought is true? Or, could you find some evidence that would crack the case?

3. Become aware of what you are thinking. It’s hard to change something if you don’t even know what it is. Keep a journal for a few weeks and periodically record the thoughts you are thinking.

4. Dispose your disempowering thoughts. For instance, visualize hitting a delete button and the thought is gone! See the thought written in sand and then washed out to sea by a big wave. Throw the thought in a fire and watch it sizzle away.

5. Now replace it with an empowering thought or positive affirmation.

CHANGE

“I’m dumb and stupid” to “I’m a great person with lots of potential.”

“I’m weird,” to “I am unique and wonderful just like I was meant to be!”

“Why doesn’t anyone like me?” to “I have many great friends who like me.”

Which THOUGHTS feel more EMPOWERING?

Which THOUGHTS would you rather be BRAINWASHED with?

YOU HAVE A CHOICE!

Fay Prairie Better you. Better relationships. Better life.

Monthly Archives: July 2014