Last week I wrote about managing emotions and I gave you the first three steps to get you started. Today we’re going to learn the next four steps.

If you missed it, it’s the blog right before this one.

Just a quick reminder of why managing our emotions is so important-

• Hanging onto resentments can keep us stuck in NEGATIVE feelings that HARM our RELATIONSHIPS.
• Our EMOTIONS can lead us to AGGRESSIVELY lash out at those we love. (pushing them away)
• Not feeling our emotions can create ANXIETY.
• Blaming others for our situation in life can lead to feeling HOPELESS and POWERLESS.
• Emotions can lead to overeating and overdrinking. (or other ADDICTIONS like shopping, smoking, gambling)

We all have issues at one time or another with
managing our emotions.

Here are steps four through seven.

Step Four: ADJUST the VOLUME

What is the voice in your head saying to you?

It’s talking to you all of the time (24/7)

Take it off of mute, turn up the volume and start to hear IT…
(CUZ IT’S RUNNING YOUR LIFE)

That voice is a BIG reason you are feeling the way you are feeling.

If you find yourself experiencing strong emotions–
GET IN TOUCH WITH WHAT THAT VOICE IS SAYING TO YOU!!

Step Five-REWIND

Once you’ve turned up the volume and can hear that voice–
then you can REWIND and gain an awareness of what’s really
contributing to that inner voice and the way you feel

Ask yourself:

What just triggered me to think this way?
Why is this bothering me this way?

Understanding where our emotions arise from and what evokes them is a crucial component to help you begin to manage them.

Are you truly angry at your partner asking you, “What’s for dinner?” or are you simply exhausted from a long day at work?

Step Six:-Review and Rate

You’ve turned up the volume so you can hear what
you inner voice is saying to you.

You’ve pressed rewind to get an idea of what’s
contributing to that voice and where it may be coming from.

Now review it and give it a rating.

Is that voice empowering or disempowering you?
Is that voice going to help you positively move forward in life
or is it going to hold you back?

Do you really want to keep listening to that same voice over and over again?
Would it be beneficial to change what that voice is saying to you?

Step Seven: CHANGE the CHANNEL

Your inner voice is either intensifying or
lessening your emotional reaction.

If you’ve determined that the thoughts being generated by your inner voice are disempowering and not going to be helpful in your life, then it’s time to Change the Channel.

By changing your thoughts you may not be able to change the situation but you can at least change the way you believe the situation is affecting you which alters your emotional response.

Example

You have to go to a social/networking event for work.

You turn up the volume and catch your inner voice saying,

“This networking event is going to be a complete waste of time.
No one is going to talk to me and I’m going to look like an idiot.”

Change the channel–

“It’s up to me to get something out of the event.
I’ll introduce myself to new people and show interest in learning about them.”

Taking a break and doing something different, like going for a walk, cleaning something, can help you change the channel from disempowering thoughts to thoughts that empower you.

Ask yourself this question to help you think a more rational empowering thought:

“What would I say to a friend who had this problem?”

IMPORTANT
Learning to control your emotions can be one of the best skills you will ever develop!

Your emotions lead to the actions you take or don’t take.
Your emotions affect every relationships you have, personal and professional.
Your emotions affect your physical health.

Your emotions create the life you are
experiencing now, every part of it.

Here are the six steps we’ve covered so far–

Step One: PAUSE–Deep Breathe and Count
Step Two-TUNE In-Awareness and Labeling feelings
Step Three-ZOOM In— Notice where feel the emotion
Step Four:ADJUST the VOLUME
Step Five-REWIND
Step Six:-REVIEW and RATE
Step Seven: CHANGE the CHANNEL

Join me next week for Part 3 (steps 8-10)